OK so I finally did it. I have been THREATENING to make the most ridiculous website on the entire internet for like... 3 years now. And here we are. You're reading this. That means you have witnessed the birth of something BEAUTIFUL and also kind of horrifying.
!!!DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SCREEN!!!
I coded this entire thing in Notepad. You heard me. NOTEPAD. Not VS Code, not Sublime Text, not even Notepad++. Just the OG Notepad like a WARRIOR. My eyes are bleeding but it was worth it.
Things I want this website to be:
- More chaotic than a Jackass episode
- More colorful than a Lisa Frank notebook
- More random than the Hamster Dance song
- Basically unreadable but in a COOL way
I think I achieved all of these. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If this site gave you a seizure I am NOT legally responsible. Also hi mom.
chaos
first post
notepad.exe
unhinged
no regrets
THE YEAR IS 2003. I AM WEARING CARGO SHORTS. THEY HAVE 11 POCKETS.
People have been telling me cargo shorts are "uncool" for YEARS. YEARS! Listen here: you know what's uncool? Not having enough pockets for your CD player, your Pokemon cards, a granola bar, your spare shoelace, AND your collection of sick stick-on tattoos.
Cargo shorts are the UTILITY VEHICLE of clothing. They are the Swiss Army knife of leg-wear. They are the APEX PREDATOR of casual fashion.
Today I'm wearing the green ones with the chain attached. The chain goes nowhere. It is purely decorative. I DO NOT CARE.
Cargo shorts hit count this week: 7 pairs.
Yes I have 7 pairs. No I will not be taking questions.
fashion
cargo shorts
based
pocket energy
manifesto
So I found this weird website the other day — goke.lol — and it predicted like... everything. Apparently in the future people have little computers in their POCKETS that can like show you any song ever made instantly. Sounds fake tbh.
Also apparently in the future people don't use CDs anymore. DISCS! Gone! How do you prove you own music then?? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.
The weirdest part: I saw something called "TikTok" and I think it's just people doing dances for 30 seconds and billions of people watch it. We have so many questions from the past for you future people.
"Did they at least keep making good flash games? Please say yes." — Goke, 2003
Anyway I think I'll just stay here in 2003 where things make sense. The Internet Explorer loading bar is comforting to me. I need it.
future
conspiracy
time travel
flash games rip
internet explorer fan